Individual Conflict Assessment Worksheet

In at least 150 to 300 words, respond and include details to the following statements and questions: 1. Take a moment to think about how you generally describe conflict. Complete the following sentences and expand each response to at least one paragraph: a. Conflict is like…. a necessary evil; without it we are not able to grow or see those imperfections within ourselves that can be upsetting to others. Conflict, while at times ugly or inconvenient is so important.

Without conflict we would not be able to learn, grow, or really recognize those traits that we possess that are not always so friendly or accommodating to others. Once we are able to notice these characteristics we are then able to change and are also able to better understand the other person and where they are coming from. Learning to be objective is so important when trying to deal positively with conflict. If we are not able to understand the other person and remain objective then the conflict can turn ugly and accusatory.

Once that happens then all parties involved in the confrontation will shut down, and neither party will receive the message the other person is sending. These communication barriers are too often the result of conflict. b. Conflict in my family is best described as…. plentiful and dealt with while it is happening. My family is very confrontational; we do not let things go unattended. If something is bothering one of us we usually confront the other person or the family as a whole if something is bothering us. That does not mean that we do not have fights because we do, it is just sometimes the conflict can turn ugly.

Usually after the conflict has been addressed we try immediately to try and change what is upsetting the other person. If we do not agree with what the other person is saying or thinking then we try to talk it out. We hardly if ever let things go unattended, but sometimes it does happen. Sometimes there are those times and places where conflict or confrontations should not happen and then of course by the time we remember to deal with it, the issue has turned into something bigger. This for my family is usually where the conflict will turn ugly. 2.

Think about the emotions you feel when you are in a conflict. Describe your feelings instead of making judgments about the conflict. Complete the following sentences and expand each response to at least one paragraph. a. When I am in a conflict, I feel…passionate. I feel like I really want to get my message across and make the other person understand where I am coming from and my position. I know in the past I used to be very confrontational sometimes being accusatory and would try to persuade others to believe that what I am saying is the correct way.

It was not until a friend pointed out this horrible trait in me that I really took a step back, outside of my skin and tried to observe the way I communicated and dealt with conflict with other people. It was then that I was noticing that I was not being very friendly when dealing with conflict with others. I remember in a heated debate in one of my classes in high school that I made another person cry. That did not make me feel good about myself. Now I try to remain calm when dealing with conflict and really try to remain objective and try to hear the other person out and understand where they are coming from.

I also make sure that I am not accusing them or that I am not being nasty in any way. I always try to make sure that if I am going to say something that may come across negatively that I follow that up with an explanation that it was not my intention or that I do not mean to be nasty or personal. b. When experiencing conflict in my family of origin, I feel…like I am accommodating. I find myself taking on different roles when dealing with different family members. I know how certain family members deal with conflict over others.

For the most part we all deal with conflict right away but the way each of us confronts it is different. There are personal feelings involved and I try not to hurt others and as a result sometimes I find myself agreeing with family members just to make sure that I do not hurt any feelings or make them feel bad. I know for some family members things have to be this way and as result I do not really get any pent up frustration. I usually just accept things they way they are knowing that some things cannot be changed and then I move on. Once I decide to move on I let the issue go completely giving it no more thought. . What is the most disturbing conflict you have had over the past several years? Describe the conflict and how you responded to it, including any outside assistance or support. This is a really tough question for me personally because over the last few years I have been working rather extensively on how I behave when confronted with conflict. I think the most disturbing conflict I have experience is dealing with a roommate and this person really thought that they did absolutely no wrong, even when it was entirely obvious that they were lying and trying to cover something up.

I do not know if this person was just delusional and maybe really saw things this way or if they were just trying to avoid the conflict by pretending to be innocent. Overall there was no way of getting through to this person because I did not think that they were intelligent or able to see things and rationalize events logically. Overall I would just start to avoid this person just to make sure that we did not experience any further conflict or issues. This ultimately was not the best way to deal with things because now we are no longer roommates and left things on a sour note. . Complete Application 5. 1 – “Measuring Your Conflict Style” in Ch. 5 of Interpersonal Conflict. How do you think your conflict style score relates to how you handled the conflict in your response to question 3? What did you learn about yourself and how you handle conflict? I think the exercise confirmed what I already knew to be true and that is that I am a work in progress when it comes to dealing with conflict. There are certain people that I deal with differently when it comes to conflict.

I also realized that I can come across sometimes as being nasty or negative when faced with conflict when it really is just me being really passionate about something. I know now that I have not made as much progress as I thought I had and that I need to continue to work on the way I deal with conflict, but overall I think that I am light years ahead of where I was when I was younger. I know the key to conflict success is that I need to remain objective, take into consideration the other person’s viewpoints, and make sure that my passionate side is kept in check and does not come across as accusatory or negative.

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